Hello Again Kristen!

I want to write on this season of giving thanks and sharing love about how and why we should all be giving thanks and love… to ourselves first.

There is a reason it is the first pillar in the activation of our joy in life; it manifests joy in a way not many other actions can. By the way, I hope you noticed I said 'action'. Love is not an emotion, or feeling; it's an action. You can't simply say how much you value and care for someone - though that is an awesome place to start. Love is a truth that you end up fulfilling by proving it to the one for which you feel such deep affection.

Showing love can look like physical gifts, but it can also look like taking out the garbage or giving a hug. As a matter of fact, there is an entire language of love, and learning the five ways in which people naturally show their affections can be one of the single best communication mechanisms one can find.

There are so many facets to love, even as we unlearn all the toxic and self-righteous lessons around giving love. Yes, what we deem as love can actually be a toxicity that seeps into the very soul of people and creates unhealthy bonds or unhealthy breaks. So knowing what you feel and acting accordingly, in a healthy, fulfilling, meaningful, and explicit way is crucial.

Joy is more than a feeling and requires action on one's part as well. Joy is an emotion full of love, among other things. Without taking certain actions, one cannot fully step into their joy. The first pillar, as noted above, dictates the type of actions that should manifest first. Giving love requires taking action, whether it's based on the emotion manifested for someone else, or how one feels about their own self. Giving love to others, to someone else, is impossible if you don't first give yourself love.

sometimes we need alone time or views for days...

I have so been there - in a place where I was unable to give myself love. Not so long ago even. I felt myself unworthy of what I saw love to be, and therefore I couldn't give the type of love back I knew someone deserved.

So how can we act on our desire to manifest self-love and then give love to others? Of course, there are so many ways to give love, but first one must get their mindset together. Here are four ways one can develop a mindset that devotes itself to self-love:

1. Start checking in with yourself consistently. Don't wait for someone else to ask how you are doing... do it yourself!
2. Affirmations: yeah yeah, they get some flack here and there. But once again, why wait for others to tell you how brilliant, beautiful, capable, and amazing you are? Tell yo dang self!
3. Self-care - finding time to really act out some of the ways you love relaxing. Show yourself that you are worthy of down time, or simply time to relish in your existence. We don't always take time to thank our bodies for their capabilities and strength (in whatever form that takes) or remember how incredible we are to be so forward-moving. You are still here! As hard as that is sometimes, celebrating with a relaxing foot bath or a dance party in the kitchen (no? just me?) simply must be done!
4. Breathing exercises - while this is technically a form of self-care, it is so important for relaxing your body and your mind.

Know this: you must come first - or else, where will you even be able to stand? Step into your joy, folks, with the proper self-respect, self-gratitude, self-graciousness, self-love.